flaming asexual
operator: 911, please hold.
me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
murderer: ok

deadhusbandisland:

vyr-croissant:

i made a new friend today, they really tickled my nez. am I a fairy now?

Nina you are literally the most precious thing ever <333

nickfuckface:

parents: “u should be more active”
me: image

witch-of-sound:

imageIM AT THE COMBINATION PIZZA HUT AND TACO BELL

mozzarellahighrise:

when someone tells you their favorite candy, listen. write it down if you have to. remember it. when you know they’re having a shitty day, buy it for them. be the best human you can be; buy your friends their favorite candy when they really, really need it and don’t even know it.